You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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