U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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