just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
In America we eat man semen.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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