Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
