Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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