I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
vagina is talking i cant
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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