I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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