I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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