So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
