I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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