i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The adults are the big ones right?
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