Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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