Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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