so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
