You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
