Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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