You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
