I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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