Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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