Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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