I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
