He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
