lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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