Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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