new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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