I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
