i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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