i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
