U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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