this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
