Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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