One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
