I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
