ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize