Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
