I think I died a long time ago.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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