Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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