I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I touched a dick in church today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
