I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
