i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
