? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
