I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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