im holly from the hills drunk
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
