only if we run a train.
done.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
