It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
