you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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