My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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