i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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