I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
