Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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