I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
