I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
