I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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