She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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