Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize