Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Found the puke drawer
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
