I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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