Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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